All You Need Is Love… and Respect!

Happy Hearts’ Day Everyone! 🙂 This time of love brings me back to my honeymoon days. The first few years of newly wedded bliss makes your head feel light and takes your heart up above in cloud nine.  They went by with a blur with so many magical first moments with your husband. The first time he introduced you as his wife… the first time someone called you Mr. and Mrs…. (yes, I have even have the first wedding invite I got that said so too!) … the first time that you sat in the middle of your new place… curling up with your husband and de-stressing the hectic work day by watching movies together… playing hooky… sleeping in together… breakfast in bed…  these are just be a few of the many magical moments that will happen during the first years of marriage.

But sometimes, the first few years also seemed sooooo long… living together is so exciting but there are also a lot of challenges, adjustments and “giving in”.

Some of the adventures and challenges we faced:

1.)     The Kitchen is the most challenging room in the apartment.  Culinary skills – zero!  It’s so hard to distinguish frozen beef from frozen pork, allocating space for all kitchen appliances and trying to find out just how many cooking utensils you actually need.

2.)     the Bedroom (?) – NOT! 🙂

3.)    When the in-laws come to visit and when your parents come to visit — there is always that need for the house to look well-kept and to impress.

4.)    Household Help! Need I say more… this deserves a whole new other blog post.  =P

5.)    Juggling work with your married life and your social life.  Gone are the days when you can say YES to any social event.  Now you need to check in with your husband to make sure that he’ll be okay being home alone while you’re out on the social scene with your gal pals.

6.)    Still staying as beautiful and fun as you were when you were single.  Ask any newly wed man what he fears the most about getting married and top box answer would always be “my wife will let herself go…”!  A good friend of mine once told me… don’t forget to fix yourself up even around your husband.  It’s not just because we have to please our better halves… but we feel better, look better and are happier when we take care of ourselves.

How to deal with the challenges that would come your marriage way is not about who gives in or what adjustments need to be made.  It’s just a simple paradigm shift of how you make things work and how to go about everyday life with another person. Below are some thoughts from other couples that might be a good guide to ease through the birthing pains.

1.)    Whatever habits existed before the marriage will still be there afterwards.  Don’t expect too much change.  If he was a slob the night before marriage, he will be that same slob the next morning.

2.)    Thou shalt not project yourself onto your partner and get mad if he doesn’t do it your way… be it cleaning up, cooking, washing the dishes, paying bills, etc.  Work it out and just try to settle on who likes or doesn’t mind doing what.

3.)    You will be exposed to habits that will annoy the hell out of you. You can nag about everything, but that will just be a total drag – for you and for him!  If your husband, no matter how many times you ask him, never seems able to put a new toilet paper roll in the bathroom, then it might better for your sanity to just know that you’ll be the designated toilet paper replacer in the family.

4.)    It’s not really about compatibility but rather, being respectful to your partner.

5.)    Yes, you are a couple now, but you still need to nurture your individuality.  It’s OK and encouraged to have separate interests of your own.  Discover a passion that is hidden in the depths of your soul.  And if that’s too deep for you, grab a purse, your girlfriend and go shopping.  Hello, Retail Therapy!!! See a movie, get a massage, read a book and catch up on some sleep.  Do something (except bitch at him), that will make you happy too!

These are but just some of the adventures and misadventures. So often it’s the drama that stands out in our minds, when it should be those special irreplaceable times… those magical moments  that make a marriage. It’s the journey of making yours and mine into ours.  Live, love and laugh… laugh together!!! 😀 It’s so easy to get caught up in the mundane things, just enjoy each other.  Today, take the time to go back to that happy place and do something now that you enjoy with your husband and have a good laugh. Happy Valentines’ Day y’all! 🙂 XoXo!

ni hao, thanks for reading. drop me a line, xie xie! =)

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