My Second Alterego: StartUp Mom

I gave birth 10 months ago to a baby girl. To prepare for that momentous event, I prepared by reading the bible of all pregnant mommas, What to Expect While You’re Expecting!.  If that weren’t enough, I even downloaded apps for that and had an overload of google searches ranging from pregnancy, baby names, nursery rooms, etc. I was a research nazi.  With all the preparation in the world though, I was still taken by surprise when the actual day came.  We were setting up the nursery during my 37th week when we had to go to the hospital because the baby wasn’t moving. With no luggage packed, no baby stuff, not even a piece of overnight clothing, we gave birth that day via CS. Talk about a dramatic entrance to the world! She truly is my daughter!

Fast forward to 10 months, I am a struggling momma. I sometimes feel inadequate when I can’t make my baby go to sleep… when she doesn’t seem to want me and would rather have the nanny feed her. I am jealous of other moms who have happy babies who make cute googoogaga sounds. I envy mommies who have babies who quietly sit on their strollers or car seats. I feel guilty when the baby is crying her heart out and I just want to tune her out. I wonder how other moms do it… and still look so fab at the same time! I wonder what I did wrong along the way or why I have such a fussy baby. She is one feisty girl… she truly is my daughter!

I have heard the same complaints from my mom about me.  I was also such a hard-to-manage baby, always inconsolable.  I was never the “cute one” or the baby that makes you want to go “aww…”. But look how I turned out, right mum? 😉 Every day is a learning experience for me with my baby. There are days when I just want to crawl under the sheets and take a break. It’s really tiring to take care of a fussy young one but we have to make it work. I am one determined momma… I truly am my mothers’ daughter!

What have I learned these past 10 months?

–          In doubt, ask Google! We’re lucky to have the internet!

–          In doubt, ask your mommy friends! Been there, done that – experience is still the best teacher!

–          In doubt, ask your mom! They say you never truly appreciate your mom until you have kids of your own. 

–          Lastly, that you are not a SuperMom – not at the start, that is. We need help and we should never hesitate to ask for it…   especially from your husband.  It will actually surprise you how strong he can be for the both of you. 

My journey to Mommyhood is just unfolding. Each kid has their own personality.  I’d like to believe that I can be a good and patient mom… be responsible enough to help mold her to being the best person that she can be. As parents, we all want what’s best for our kids, we do the best we can — or we die trying! My baby is uber fussy, but I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.  I wouldn’t want to trade my baby for a cute giggly one, because she is mine and she is ME! They say, we have until the age of 7 to build a good, solid foundation for your kids. I am a StartUp Mom… I still have 6 years to screw up or make things right. Hopefully fussy turns to FUZZY feelings of love, because at the end of the day — THAT’s what makes it worth all our while.  🙂

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3 thoughts on “My Second Alterego: StartUp Mom

  1. Pingback: Happiness, is being a sister… having a brother :) | StartUp Babies

ni hao, thanks for reading. drop me a line, xie xie! =)

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